Hey everyone! I’m Tochi Arinze, 16 years old, and I’ve been part of NYMT productions for about two years now. Last year, I had the incredible opportunity to take part in *NYMT's In Concert: When I Grow Up*. The showcase was about the different ways people experience growth—not just physically growing older, but learning to love others, to love yourself, navigating the struggles of growing up, and finding joy in the independence that comes with it. It was such a rewarding experience, both as a performer and as a person, and I was so grateful to be a part of it. 

This year, I had the honour of being cast in *Crescendo*, which was a completely different experience. This production wasn’t just about putting on a show—it was about the future of musical theatre itself and what young people want to see from the industry. *Crescendo* focused on the challenges that today’s youth face within the industry, what they hope to change, and what they would love to see in its future. From the very beginning, it demanded authenticity and rawness from the cast in a way that no other project I’ve been involved in has. 

We had a meeting about a month before the rehearsals to discuss what we wanted to achieve with the production. Our creative team—Ben Garnett, the Musical Director, and Katie Bonna, our director—asked us to openly share our thoughts about the musical theatre industry. We were asked to list what we loved about it and what we wanted to change. It was an exciting and eye-opening conversation, where we all realized how deeply connected, we were to this art form and how much passion we had for shaping its future. Based on this discussion, we were given a song list that reflected our ideas and dreams—but no script. That was the twist. The script would be created as we went into the rehearsal process, which was both thrilling and nerve-wracking. 

What made *Crescendo* stand out for me was that it wasn’t a traditional musical where I’d be playing a character with a set storyline. Instead, I had to play the most challenging role of all—myself. When I first found out that we wouldn’t be hiding behind characters, I thought, "How hard can it be to be yourself?" In my mind, it seemed far easier than playing someone else’s part. After all, I wouldn’t have to learn complex lines or adopt a persona that wasn’t mine. But the reality was much different. 

Once the rehearsal process started, and I saw the songs I was assigned to perform, I realized I was facing a new kind of challenge. The songs weren’t selected to showcase my vocal ability or how beautifully I could sing. They were chosen based on what I wanted to express—my thoughts and feelings about the industry, my strong opinions. For the first time, I couldn’t rely on my voice as a safety net. In most performances, I used my voice to capture attention, to make the audience focus on how well I sang rather than the message behind the song. Now, all eyes were on me, not just my voice, and I had nothing to hide behind. 

It was a strange and uncomfortable feeling, realizing that I didn’t have that shield of a character to protect me. I was fully exposed, and it made me feel vulnerable in a way I hadn’t expected. Not just me, but the entire cast was grappling with the same thing. We were all required to strip away the characters, the acting, and the vocal acrobatics, and just be ourselves in front of an audience. That’s when it hit me: being yourself on stage is far harder than playing any character. You’re not just showcasing a skill—you’re showcasing your truth, and that’s a terrifying thing to do. 

However, with the support of our incredible creative team—Ben, Katie, Scott (our choreographer), Emily (our assistant director), and Caspar (our assistant MD)—I was able to overcome that fear within the span of just five days. It wasn’t an easy process, but they guided us through it with so much care and understanding. Little by little, I started to shed the discomfort and embrace the idea of being myself in front of an audience. What once felt like a weakness turned into a strength. It became exhilarating to stand on stage as my true self, without any pretence or character to hide behind. 

By the end of the week, I found myself enjoying the process more than I ever thought possible. Without the burden of trying to "perform" in the traditional sense, I discovered a new connection with the audience. I wasn’t just communicating through a character—I was communicating as me. That authenticity created a bond with the audience that was unlike anything I’d experienced before. It was powerful and freeing to be on stage as my true self, sharing my thoughts and experiences without fear. 

What made this journey even more special was the connection it fostered among the cast. As we all went through the same process of vulnerability and authenticity, we formed a bond that was deeper than any I’d experienced in previous productions. We weren’t just castmates—we became a family. There was a mutual trust and understanding that made the experience truly unforgettable, and I love each and every one of them deeply. 

Looking back, I can say that *Crescendo* has taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my life. Being yourself—fully and unapologetically—is a gift. It’s something that will help me in every aspect of life, especially as I continue to pursue my passion for performing. I know that this newfound skill will be invaluable when I (hopefully) start to perform professionally. I’m incredibly thankful to the entire creative and pastoral team of *Crescendo* and NYMT for giving me the space to grow, both as a performer and as a person. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me next.